Issue #26: achievement. regrets. time to BLOSSOM.
periods + puberty, other lives + sliding doors, and the challenge of PERFECTION.
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“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
~ Anais Nin
talking to kids about periods…
We LOVE hearing the things that you want to talk about and need support with. This request came from Sarah who asked if we had any resources for talking to your child about periods! This is something that is top of mind for us as with 7 and 10 year old daughters, we are having these conversations. So Sarah, here are a few that we have found helpful or are on our radar:
Girlology App: The App created by top mom-docs to give you both grade-by-grade answers on everything from puberty, periods, anxiety, to “the talk”—without all the awkwardness!
A Kids Book About Periods by Jessica Biel (5+): Yep, you read that right! Jessica Biel wrote a kids book about periods created in partnership with PERIOD., a global, youth-fueled nonprofit which strives to eradicate period poverty and stigma through service, education, and advocacy.
Celebrate Your Body (and Its Changes, Too!): The Ultimate Puberty Book for Girls by Sonya Renee Taylor (9-11): Everything girls need to know about breasts and bras, their period, hair here and there, feelings and friends, and so much more.
We Need to Talk About Vaginas: An IMPORTANT Book About Vulvas, Periods, Puberty, and Sex by Dr. Allison K. Rodgers (9-12): The more we know about our vaginas and vulvas the better equipped we will be to deal with our bodies in the future. In this beautifully illustrated book Dr. Allison K. Rodgers simply explains everything from why we have periods to sex and consent in the age of social media.
The Care and Keeping of You Part 1 (8-10) and 2 (9-11) by American Girl: Someone recently mentioned these books and given my 7 year old is in her American Girl Era, I am going to order the first one.
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This week’s Five Senses Friday is from author, writer, and speaker Ashley Jordan. Her new book, Unhappy Achiever, hit the shelves last week and her story and motivation to write this book really resonated with us.
TASTE: Half Baked Harvest Super Simple by Tieghan Gerard. Cooking was a dreaded chore for most of my life. But the more I’ve learned to love, nurture, nourish, and care for myself more deeply, the more cooking has become a favorite pastime. It’s tactile. Using our hands to chop, mix, and add ingredients takes us out of our heads and into the present moment. It’s artistic. It allows us to experiment with the flavorful interplay between different herbs and spices. It can be done in solitude or with someone special—a meal infused with love is the closest we can come to sharing our hearts on a plate. And the Half Baked Harvest Super Simple cookbook by Tieghan Gerard transforms me from a mediocre chef into a culinary marvel, or at least the closest I’ll ever come to one. It’s my favorite cookbook, and it’s earned rave reviews from friends and family.
SEE: Maktub by Paul Coelho. As an author, perhaps I shouldn’t admit that until recently, I’d never read any of Paul Coelho’s work. Please accept my humble (and sheepish) confession regarding my severe literary oversight. A friend shared this book with me a couple of months ago, and now it’s a nightstand staple. If words have the capacity to feed a starving soul, then this book is the written equivalent of a meal that leaves you satisfied all day. I prefer to savor its wisdom while sipping my morning cup of coffee. Sometimes, I read several pages, and others, a single page leaves me breathless. I can’t bear to sample a single sentence more because I’ve already consumed the spiritual equivalent of the “chef’s kiss.” So, eat up, my friends, and savor every masterful word by this mystical man.
SMELL: Donna Born in Roma Eau de Parfum by Valentino. I’m a scent junkie. I burn scented candles as often as most people apply deodorant. Fortunately, though, I don’t burn them instead of applying deodorant. So, when I decided it was time to select a new perfume several years ago, I set out on a serious mission to find a signature scent. I wanted something a bit floral, but not too much. I didn’t want to smell like a botanical garden. Something chic and sophisticated, but also fresh, flirty, and fun. The moment I spritzed her pretty pink liquid on the white sample strip, I understood she wasn’t just a scent; she was a soulmate. Years later, I tend to overindulge in the fragrant beauty of my favorite perfume. But I rest assured that regardless—my nose knows exactly what it’s doing.
HEAR: Hozier. For a long time, the only song I’d heard by Hozier was “Take Me to Church.” I feel sorry for that version of me because she was seriously missing out. From his song writing to his voice, listening to this man’s music is a spiritual experience. It may not take you to church on Sunday, but it will take you to the church of soul. I saw him in concert a couple of months ago and discovered that he’s Irish. Anyone who knows me is well aware that I’m a sucker for Celtic men. The time I spent in Scotland gave me the opportunity to meet men who were deeply connected to their own inner landscape, as well as their outer landscape. Men of the Highlands. Men vast and deep. Their Celtic spirit carried me away and captivated me. Hozier is the musical embodiment of a masculine soulfulness too subtle to be fully articulated with words—but completely captured by song.
TOUCH: Snug Waffle Robe by Sunday Citizen. Behold, the holy grail of morning robes: the Sunday Citizen Snug Waffle Robe. A friend’s husband bought her this robe for Christmas, and he deserves an award for discovering the softest, coziest robe known to humanity. Living in the Midwest, a warm, comfy robe is a must-have for most of the year, and I’ve had many such robes in my lifetime. But this is by far the best robe I’ve ever donned. Picture a sweet grandmother. Now, imagine that sweet grandmother spent years knitting you a robe from freshly-churned butter. That’s the feeling we’re talking about here, friends. As the weather turns colder, on any given day, you can catch me shuffling around my apartment, wrapped in the waffle-textured, buttery bliss of this beloved robe.
What is appealing to your senses right now? What are you reading? watching? cooking? wearing? loving? obsessed with? We would love to share some of your picks in future newsletters!
UNHAPPY ACHIEVER: rejecting the good girl image and reclaiming the joy of inner fulfillment
Many of us nearly “do” ourselves to death, sacrificing health and relationships to arrive at some elusive, “ultimate” point of existence. Still, no matter how much we do, genuine satisfaction evades us. And the parts of us we sought to fill with the trappings of wealth, power, goodness, and praise somehow feel emptier than before. All the while, missing the most fundamental key to our happiness—the joy of inner fulfillment.
For most of her life, journalist, public speaker, and former lawyer Ashley Jordan ingested the commodified myth, bought and sold on the open market of capitalist culture, that what was missing inside her could be fixed by something outside her. Then, shortly after her 37th birthday, life cracked her open. Conjuring the courage to upend every aspect of her existence—from her friendships to her career to her marriage—to make her life more reflective of her heart’s deepest desires, Ashley shares stories of healing from loss, her struggle with eating disorders, perfectionism, stories of love and friendship, and the complex relationship between mother and daughter—and what we go on to teach our own daughters about self-worth.
Unhappy Achiever is the story of how we use masks of achievement to buffer against the world and protect us from pain, how these masks keep us disconnected from ourselves and distanced from those around us—and ultimately, the magic, wisdom, and wholeness we encounter when we exist unencumbered and unobscured by external pursuits.
the challenge of PERFECTION in fertility + motherhood
Many of us grow up learning that hard work and determination lead to success. Whether it’s excelling in school, advancing in our careers, or checking off personal goals, we develop a mindset that says, “If I just push a little harder, I’ll get what I want.” But when it comes to the journey of fertility and motherhood, this drive for perfection can create more challenge and friction–it certainly has for me…
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Read on for more on the midnight library, thoughts on regret, sliding doors, japanese flower arranging, and the most adorable bud vases from our friend Holly at H.Berg Ceramics. Oh, that reminds us… she has some really fun workshops coming up this month for you are in the MKE area!
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